Children

Some people who don't have children think that it it a HUGE pain in the ass because all they ever hear is the parents bitching about them.  To this I must tell you that..........

half the fun of having kids is bitching about them. 

The hard truth is that kids are fucking awesome.
THEY BABBLE!
THEY LOOK LIKE YOU!
CHICKS DIG THEM!
THEY SAY STUPID SHIT THAT'S FUNNY!
THEY WILL DO WHATEVER YOU DO AND THINK ITS COOL EVEN IF ITS LAME!

The pluses far outweigh the minuses. Even when having kids SUCKS, and it does sometimes, it's worth it. I remember when I had to go feed the crying baby (doesn't matter which) at 4AM or something, and I'll be sitting there in the dark, and my eyes will have adjusted to the dark, and the kid will finish eating, and he'll rest his head on my shoulder. Then, he'll pop up and give me a look. He'll just stare right at me. And looking at the kid in that moment… it's amazing.

Like someone took a piece of your soul and crafted it into another living being.

It's mindblowing.

Besides, what else of actual value are you REALLY going to be doing for the next couple of decades. I have been blissfully married for 10 years now after a few years you realize that your wife has heard all of your dumbass stories and you are left with nothing to talk about. But now, the Mrs. and I can go out to dinner and spend the whole night bitching about the kids. It's great.

One other thing: pictures. You'll love staring at pictures of your kids. Pictures are better than kids, because they don't make noise. Sometimes, the kid will be in the room annoying me, and I'll grab a picture of them, completely ignoring the actual kid. "Look at how cute that kid is. So smiley. So quiet. Much nicer than the insane midget currently clinging to my leg."

No don't get the wrong idea, children are not for everyone. I just happen to be one of the lucky males of the species to have not developed into a fully function adult so I relate to children at their level.  I don't even try to make them act more like adults but then again who in their right mind would??  They will have plenty of time to be miserable in their adult lives....dragging their sad asses out of bed and going to fucking work every day like we parents do.  I choose to leave the growing up to others who for no apparent reason to me have lost touch with childhood.

I have heard that childhood ends when you realize that you are going to die.  What a load of shit..childhood actually ends when you start worrying if jumping off of a bunkbed and down the stairs are going to kill you.

So there you have it....I get along with children because they just don't care about small shit and just want to have a good time before they are forced to be adults...JUST LIKE ME.

(I get along with the elderly for just about the same reasons.)