Artie Lange -- Poor (funny as hell) douchebag

I learned this morning that one of my favorite comedians Artie Lange attempted to commit suicide by stabbing himself 9 (count 'em) 9 times!!  Now I have been reading some articles that are calling for the Howard Stern fanbase (I am proud to say I am one of them) to stand up supporting him and show understanding for this guy.  I just find myself nauseous just thinking about it.

Let's take a quick look at his life.

• Rich
• Famous
• Funny
• Work-a-holic
• Depressed
• Mental
• Addicted to MANY substances
• Gambling issues
• Perpetual liar
• Obesely over weight

  Ok so there are some negatives to his seemingly wonderful existence on this planet but to use is own terms.... WAAAHHHHH!

Adding attempted suicide to the list of his accomplishments just makes him a stupid douchebag in my book.  Hey life is tough why don't we all just finish spreading the mayo on our 6 layer sandwich and jam the knife in our belly 9 times....that will make everything better!!

Nothing like a permanent solution to a temporary problem!   You don't like your life, change it.  Not many of use have the monetary means of ACTUALLY changing our life but you do!!  Take your substantial cash out of your bank and move to a tropical paradise.....nah....let me just kill myself!  

I do hope he pulls through this and gets his shit together.  Leave the stage....leave the show...and get his head straight.

It's always darkest before the dawn...hopefully baby gorilla's dawn will be coming soon.

A tribute to a man who is "Too Fat to Fish"