Happy Place???

Does anyone have a spare seat in their happy place?  My happy place seems to be full of other jerk-offs who refuse to leave and let me sit down.

Maybe Revis Island can be a happy place for me....hell you seem to be able to do anything you want there without any repercussions.  After Sunday we all witnessed that Revis Island is the land where pass interference doesn't exist.  You can clearly and out in the open field just shove a jumping receiver in the back WAY before the ball arrives.

It hurt my heart to lose to Mark (Dirty) Sanchez but to make matters worse I had to sit next to two Jets fans for the entire game.  Now I am a grown-ass man but I almost went back to the school yard and whooped that dudes ass for telling me that the Sanchez is one of the best QB's in the league and that Ben is just an over hyped joke.  Then I realized that I wouldn't look too good in an orange jump-suit that the PA prison provides, so I just went after him with my winning personality and charm.  (I called Sanchize....a walking "who-who")

On the bright side at least it wasn't Holmes running back the opening kick-off behind a (ILLEGAL) 3 man wedge.  If you were wondering why there was a flag on the opening kickoff, it was because there was a clear PENALTY!!!  Three players on the kicking team can not come together to form a wedge that a returner can run behind.  It happened....it was called correctly....it was discussed....it never happened.  The plight of the Steelers all season, if there is a call to be missed for the Steelers....it will be missed even if it was called correctly....one of the asses in black and white will talk the other idiot right out of it.  How many games have you seen on TV or in person where THREE flags are picked up?

5 days until Christmas!!!  Maybe Santa will bring me a new happy place.

BTW....if you haven't seen "Between Two Ferns" you should.  THAT IS SOME FUNNY SHIT!! 

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Charlize Theron from Between Two Ferns

 

God, I hope this is my last post of the year!! 

Happy holidays to EVERYONE!!  Even those of you I don't like very much....you know who you are.

Screw you Holmes!

So I am just minding my own business, doing my normal work during the day (surfing the internet) and I run across an interesting article on ESPN.com.  I will just give you the highlights...

• Holmes promises that he will return a punt for a TD against the Steelers this week.
• The fans at Heinz Field will give him a standing ovation when he takes the field.
• There are lots of #10 jerseys in the stadium with Holmes on the back.

OK, rebuttal time bong-breath.....

Point #1  There is no way in HELL that you are returning anything in Pittsburgh unless it is a bag of skunk weed you are not happy with from the dealer under the Smithfield Street Bridge. 

Point #2   You had a chance for a warm welcome back to da'burgh before you started running your mouth on that shit "Hard Knocks" show.  Your odds were decisively better before you were making claims of running back punts for scores, that I can assure you.  You will be met with the same level of enthusiasm as Saddam Hussein being escorted to his hanging. 

Point #3  I almost will give this one to you.  There are several Holmes jerseys EVERY WEEK in plain view, it sickens me to no end!  Believe me that it has nothing to do with you Mr. Holmes, it has everything to do with the clearance sale at Walmart that allowed folks with less then the best taste buy your jersey for $5.  Sometimes cheapness reigns supreme when it comes to the blue collar Steeler fan. 

So in closing....

WE KNOW YOU!!  You will have at least 3 dropped passes in the game this week because dude.....that's who you are!  Are you still reeling from dropping that TD pass last week during the Dolphins game that would have no doubt won the game for the Jets?  You are a slightly above average receiver who was easily replaced by Mike Wallace.

Remember Holmes...always pass the spliff to the left and if you didn't smoke weed today but you did last week, make sure you let the cops know when you are pulled over for a simple traffic violation.....DUMBASS!

Pittsburgh 34 - Jets 17

The Joy of Life

Is there anything better in life than wrecking some little shits sandcastle?  If you haven't done it, you should.  It will make you feel better about yourself while crushing the self esteem of some helpless gash who thought building a sandcastle was a cool thing to do.

REAL MEN DIG HOLES!!!  Sandcastles are for SAPS and the weak willed who think they are some sort of super sand design wizard who can pull off some old school dragon filled castle of AWESOMENESS.  If you see someone building a castle.....CRASH THAT SHIT!

Isn't the kid in the picture above EXCELLENT?!?  I have seen this picture modified to several variations of team rooting from the NFL, NHL, WNBA, you name it this kid is pushing it.  He has to be a Gazillonaire by now!!!  If only my kids could be rich like this little dude life would be grand.  But NO, my kids have to sit around jobless building sandcastles....those lazy little lay-abouts  get a job and make daddy some money already!!

Steelers - Bengals this week....I am fully prepared for a letdown.  If I were a betting man I would take the Bengals and the 9.5 points.  If the Steelers pull this off it will be by less than a TD.  Mark my words folks..mortgage the house, take the kids community college fund and put it ALL down on the Bengals!!!

So I don't know if you have noticed but there is an e-mail link at the top of this blog for folks to send questions or topics that they would like me to discuss.  For some unknown reason.....people actually are sending me shit!!  I will need to determine a day to respond to the messages and I hope it will be sometime next week to have the first weekly Q&A session.